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How Do I Write about Entitlement in a Charming Way?

I wasn’t planning to write an article before Thanksgiving. Honestly, the thought of sitting down to string together coherent sentences in the middle of all the things felt like another item on an already-too-long to-do list. I mean, life is busy. But then I did what I usually do when I’m stuck: I asked God for help. And wouldn’t you know it, He came through.

So here I am, writing about entitlement.

Gratitude isn’t easy

Gratitude has been on my mind lately, partly because Thanksgiving is here and partly because it’s really hard. It’s like our default setting is not gratitude but discontent. We’re more aware of what we don’t have than what we do. And if I’m being honest, sometimes it’s because I feel like I deserve more. Better circumstances, smoother days, maybe even a piece of pumpkin pie that isn’t burned on one side (true story).

Dr. John Townsend calls this mindset “entitlement” in his book The Entitlement Cure. It’s an amazing read, full of wisdom on how entitlement sneaks into our hearts and how it robs us of joy. He explains that entitlement says, “I deserve this,” while gratitude says, “I’m thankful for what I’ve been given.” There’s a big difference.

And here’s the kicker: gratitude isn’t just a self-help idea or a Hallmark card sentiment. It’s biblical. One of my favorite verses, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” All circumstances. Not just the ones where everything goes my way or the pie turns out perfectly.

Living it out

I’ll admit, living this out isn’t easy. This morning, I was talking about this with Rod (who is hilarious and insightful, by the way), and he mentioned that Scandinavians have the highest happiness rates in the world. Want to know why? Because they have lower expectations. Let that sink in for a second. Lower expectations. They’re not constantly chasing more or better or newer. They’re content. And contentment is a close cousin to gratitude.

So, here’s the challenge I’m setting for myself, and maybe you’ll want to join me: let’s practice gratitude this Thanksgiving—not the kind that glosses over the hard stuff, but the kind that looks at life honestly and still says, “Thank you.” Thank you for the good gifts. Thank you for the hard lessons. Thank you for another day to try again.

And maybe, just maybe, we can let go of entitlement along the way.

a pumpkin and a sign on a table
Photo by Stephanie Klepacki on Unsplash

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. Let’s go into it with hearts wide open—not because everything is perfect, but because gratitude is powerful enough to change our perspective, even when it’s not.

Also, if you’re Scandinavian and reading this, please share your secrets.

Elaine Morris
Executive coach and positive intelligence expert

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Elaine Morris is a master-level emotional intelligence and executive coach who brings more than 30 years of experience to upper level executives and their teams.

Elaine Morris